When Life Gives You Lemons

Sometimes you would rather suck on them than make lemonade.  That's the mood I've been in lately because the family is set to move back to America in December.  

Matt's two-year contract will not be extended as we really, really hoped.  The reason for no extension stems back to a company merger nine months ago.  That left a surplus of employees in Europe and a shortfall for help in America.  On the plus side America needs more people, and my guy is just who they need.  

Hang with me while I be selfish for our family for a moment.

Selfish Point #1 - We love living in London.  The city setting works well for our family; public transportation and delivery services keep our no car family running day to day.  Come on, the history that we walk by every day constantly awes us.  On the walk to school alone we pass by several WWII bomb sites, and our house is well over 100 years old.  When you visit places around the city to realize that many of the buildings are over 600 years old, it becomes apparent that America is just getting started.  

Selfish Point #2 - It took us a long time to get The Manor to feel like our home; rented accommodations are never near as inviting & cozy when you can't really make it your own.  White walls and subpar appliances aren't my cuppa.  The Manor finally started to feel like a home in March of this year - that's sixteen months.  

Selfish Point #3 - Leaving friends is never easy.  Upon moving into The Manor, we quickly found out that it was extremely hard to make friends as adults.  The neighbors are polite, and we only hit it off with a few.  We created a quality support system with the families at school, which was a life saver on so many occasions. I also have an amazing friend that I met through Instagram who became my partner in city touring shenanigans.  Our girls became good friends in the last year, too.    

Selfish Point #4 - Oldest Kiddo started middle school in September, and we hoped that we could stay through the end of the school year.  You remember middle school, right?  The most awkward time of your life.  We want to make sure her transition from UK schools back to a US schools is as smooth as we can make it.  It won't be perfect, but we'll try darn hard to make it so.

Selfish Point #5 - The biggest reason I have to be a sourpuss - We are not done here!!!  A UK home base facilitates travel to Europe with short, and often cheap flights.  Yes, we've traveled to a lot of stupendous places: Amsterdam, Rome, Paris, Brussels, Dubai, Berlin, Italian Lakes, Florence, Stockholm, Barcelona, Lisbon.  There are so many more places we want to see!  We will squeeze in one or two quick trips before we repatriate, but there are so many things to get done before that can happen.  Yes, yes this is a first world problem.  

As I've gone through the stages of grieving our pending change, I also have to remember that it's not about me.  Matt's job brought this opportunity to our family, and we have to do what's right for the family.  If the next stage in his career happens to be in America, then that's where we go.

Now that I'm ready to make the lemonade, there are several things to which we look forward.  First we get to decide where we will live.  If you recall, we sold The 407 in the Chicago suburbs so we can live wherever we choose.  The only thing we need in our new town is easy access to an airport for Matt's work travel.  There are several things that would be nice, such as little or no snow.  We've started researching houses in different cities to see what our dollar will buy.

Positive Point #1 - We will be back near our family and friends (somewhat).  Regardless of where we decide to move, our family will be closer to us than to London Manor.  Despite the amazing things we've seen and done in London, it's been hard being away from our families.  We've missed holidays, birthdays, and simple weekend picnics.  Sadly, we've said good bye to three very close family members in our time here.  On the other hand, we've happily hosted several guests at The Manor and shown them the city that we love.

Positive Point #2 - A move back to America presents opportunities to show our kids more of their home country.  Although the ease of travel to Europe greatly diminishes when we return, that won't stop us from returning when we can! 

Positive Point #3 - It sounds cheeky, but I so look forward to proper pizza & Mexican food.  London just doesn't understand the fine points of a quality taco or salsa.  Although I've gotten quite good at making my own.  

Send good thoughts our way for a smooth transition back to 'Merica.  

What's New With You?

      We bought a house.         

In America.

The expat adventure is almost over, folks.  Our two-year contract went by fast, but we jammed a lot into it.  Our official leave window is mid-December, so there's just over one month to finish off the must see in London list. 

Just to keep things interesting, we decided not to move back to Chicago.  The multiple years of Polar Vortex (Polar Vortices?) ensured that we could find more suitable climate.  Matt's job put no geographical requirements upon his return to America, so we had 50 states from which to choose.

We decided our next city should have:
        * no (or virtually no) snow
        * East Coast timezone to keep work calls back to Europe not too inconvenient
        * low cost of living (almost anywhere is lower than London)
        * easy access to other major cities
        * did I mention no snow?

When we looked at the map, and by that I mean Youngest Kiddo's Ravensburger puzzle, we quickly came to a decision: North Carolina.  More specifically, Raleigh.  From our research, Raleigh seemed to tick all the boxes for our family.  Even more, just a short distance from Raleigh is the Atlantic Ocean in one direction and the Appalachian Mountains in the opposite.  You better believe I'm all over Instagram scouting for places to eat and visit.  I'm always open to your suggestions for what to see & do in our new hometown.  Leave your favorites in the comments below!

How are we all feeling about the move?  That's for another time, but for now we have a list of things to accomplish and see before we go.  Our expat adventure will soon morph into a repatriation adventure, and I sure hope you will follow along with all the fun!

Adiós To My Career, For Now

Upon our move to London, I had to leave my teaching career behind in America.  I did not say cheerio to my job completely as my contract allowed for a two-year leave, which guaranteed a job at the same status (full time/part time) upon my return.  Although my leave began after the start of the 2013-14 school year, the district considered that one full year of leave.  The 2014-15 school year started back in August, and a look at the calendar shows that my second year of leave is already half over.   

I know school districts plan for the next school year long before the current year is over.  While I knew it was inevitable, I was surprised at the arrival of this in the post.

Ugh.  The district needed to know if I planned to return in the fall.  One check on a line and a signature at the bottom was all that stood between me having a job and not having a job. 

I had many conversations with Matt and in my own head about what to do:

The emotional voice in my head wanted me to indicate that I would return.  Who knows what will happen in the next few months.  Keeping my part-time job at school would be a small contribution to the family if an unexpected return happened.  Then in June/July I could send in my resignation upon knowing we were good to go through December.  

The rational voice in my head wanted me to resign by the deadline so I did not cause a problem for my principals the summer.  I've seen many instances where teachers decide over the summer to not return in the fall.  Sometimes this decision happens right in June, but sometimes it happens a few weeks or even days before school starts.  You can imagine that the candidate pool can be mighty shallow when placed in a last minute hiring situation.

The title of this post tells you which voice won.

My principal let me know that the letter was safely delivered to personnel.  So, this is goodbye to my career, but I have a sneaky feeling I'll be back someday.  

Mates

I recently read this blog article on To The Days Like This, and she summed up how my feelings perfectly.  

I miss my work friends....
We were in the trenches together every day.  We celebrated successes we achieved with students.  Some days, we banged our heads into the wall when the educational bureaucracy seeped its way into our jobs.  I was a part of a great team.  I had a certain hole in my days at the end of August when I was not setting up a classroom and catching up with my colleagues.  In April I had the distinct pleasure of flying home to attend the wedding of a former colleague.  I am so happy that an ocean did not keep me from celebrating this occasion with her.  

I miss my neighborhood friends....
Obviously life goes on near The 407.  They shoveled a lot of snow last winter.  The neighborhood kids played during the summer.  They had their first day of school pictures on the porch.  Recently, we saw the photos from this year's JDRF charity walk.  We loving joined each year to support our neighbor and thought about them as we walked the city on that day.
  

My neighbor (hi!) sent me this photo the other night with the caption, "come home."  

I'm happy to think that seeing these annual treats at the market reminds our friends of us.  Especially since, I was obsessed and posted many of these in the last two years.  

I miss my college friends....
Our group of college friends have been together for almost 20 years.  In that time we have experienced most of our adult milestones together.  There were weddings, babies born, deaths of loved ones, health struggles, job frustrations, and job successes.  Heck, I was in the delivery room when one of their kiddos was born.

Geographically we did not live close, but when we got together it was magical.  Our talks spanned from kids, to jobs, to family drama (no one ever has that), and many many laughs.  

Yes we text regularly, and the messages bring me the biggest joy.  I especially love to wake up to a text (or stream of texts) in the morning.  I hope they feel the same way when they wake up six hours later to the my responses.

   

They stop by The 407 to make sure she is doing OK.  I sure hope it spurs conversation among the neighbors as to who the heck is taking pictures out front.  

Finally, when we've taken trips back to the US, we find a way to be together.  When Matt was back in the states a few weeks ago a group event was not possible.  However, he got to have apple cider donuts at the apple orchard with one family and dinner with the other.    

We so look forward to our next trip home to see as many friends as we can.  I know it will feel like no time has passed when we see them.  We will easily pick up on conversations that started months ago, and make new memories to last us until we see them again.  I hope!

Finding A School In London - We Found One!

The kids survived their first week in British Public Schools.  Well, Oldest Kiddo survived.  Youngest Kiddo developed a fever on Thursday night.  I was really surprised that he got sick since.  In the last eight weeks they've been all over the city, been breathed & coughed on, and touched every railing and pole on transportation that they should have Superman immunity.  I guess nothing is immune to the germfest that is a five-year-old classroom.  By Saturday morning he was back to himself, eating everything he could to make up for the missed meals.

Starting school has not been without it's own set of frustration and annoyances along the way.  Back in October I shared my take on how you apply for schools.  Since we applied after the school year started, our process was a little different, but you get the idea that it's a pain in the arse.  Our house is on the border of another school council (for ease of understanding we will call it a district).  I applied for schools in our district and in the neighboring district.  We have a school that is approximately 20 houses away, and dreamed that it would be amazing to be offered a place for both kids.

I applied before Christmas, and I knew I would not hear anything until the first of the year.  In January I received an offer in the post for Youngest Kiddo at a school about a mile away.  An email to the district revealed that Oldest Kiddo would be offered a spot at the school by the house.  That was a bummer for us because we really wanted them at the same school.  A week ago Thursday, Matt received a call from the Head Teacher in the neighboring district for a school just over a mile away to offer both kids a spot.  Since the kids have been out of school since mid-November we jumped at the chance for them to start school together on Monday.

We met with the Head Teacher, and she took us on a tour of the school to meet the teachers.  Before we left we purchased the uniforms and did a little happy dance all the way home that they were going to school.

On Monday morning the kids were elated to go to school.  They got ready in record time, and they happily walked the distance to school.  I'll admit that I got a little teary when I walked away from the school; these two kids have been my shadow 24/7 for the last eight weeks.  The tears quickly dissipated when I reveled in the peace while I enjoyed a latte and pain au chocolat at the coffee shop.

When I arrived home the post man had just delivered the day's mail.  In the day's mail was an offer for both kids at the school by the house.  Are you kidding me?  What happened to the offer the district sent me last week for Youngest Kiddo to go to another school?  I was beyond angry at this moment.  Over the weekend I came to terms that the trip to school would be just over one mile each way.  We'd have to leave for school 30-40 minutes before the bell to make sure Mr. Short Legs could make the trip.  Now my district can change their mind and make a different offer?!

We could take the kids out of their current school and place them by the house.  I've already bought the uniform shirts, but the school by the house requires the same pants and shoes.  Ugh, but they could not stop talking about how much fun they had on their first day.  Oldest Kiddo even says she made a friend.  The pros & cons continued.

Ultimately we decided to keep them at the first school.  This school is rated higher than the school by the house.  To give the kids some additional sleep time, we can take the bus to and from if they so choose.  I look at the walk each day as a free gym membership.  Plus the location is super convenient to the shops I need to visit several times a week since my refrigerator is miniscule.

The decision is......

To stay.  After a lot of number crunching and an honest pro/con list for staying or leaving, staying in our current residence is the most prudent financial decision at this time.  That's not to say that things will not be happening at our house in, oh say, the next week!

We have committed to a contractor that can start next week.  We've talked about this as a possibility for so long, I now have some anxiety that it's finally coming to fruition.  The contractor, we'll call him Mr. D., asked us a lot of great questions: How big do we want the closets to be?, Do we need additional outlets in the rooms?, and the biggest question of all - What kind of flooring do you want in the bedroom? Well that question started a snowball.

The original hardwood floors are under the carpet in our bedroom.  We would like to salvage them and restore them back to their original glory.  When we replaced the pink carpet (yes, pink) with a beautiful, creamy frieze we were appalled at how previous owners used huge nails to probably remove squeaks from the floor.  At the time we made mention that it was a shame to ruin the floors like that.  Now, we that we want hardwood floors in the bedroom, we really cringe.  The decision to restore hardwood floors is not just for the bedroom.  Since we tend to be a go big or go home kind of family, the decision has been made to restore the hardwood in the whole house.  See the snowball getting bigger?

The final cost for the floors is slightly unknown at this point.  They will refinish what they can (for a decent per square foot price) and replace what is beyond its life (for a little more per square foot).  We also have an interesting situation with the status of the visible hardwood in the hallway in the kitchen.  The hallway planks run the length of the hallway in a north/south fashion, which makes complete sense.  When the flooring was installed, the kitchen was laid at the opposite east/west direction.  We're not sure on the logic for that.  Now that we want to expose and refinish the living room, which completes the circle from kitchen through the hallway we need to remedy this.  Mr. D. thinks that the kitchen could possibly be carefully taken up and turned the proper direction.  If it can't be properly taken up and turned we will have to replace it with new, but once we commit we're ready for that expense.  Snowball

To make the snowball just a bit bigger, and since work has to be done on the floor anyway, we are going to have a pocket door removed that's between the kitchen and living room.  It won't help us move our table into the kitchen, but it will give the feeling of more space.  Then maybe we can find a great bookshelf that will get my cookbooks off the floor of the hallway closet.  I'm getting ahead of myself, let's see how the whole thing turns out before I go finding a bookshelf.  That's a whole other snowball.

Next Steps

A contractor that lives in the neighborhood stopped over last Tuesday to give us an idea for the cost of putting up the wall.  He's done several renovations in the neighborhood so he's intimately aware of the inner workings of our house model.  He dropped off his quote by the end of the week and we were pleasantly surprised at the affordability of the project.

One quote does not a project make, so a colleague recommended another contractor that came over tonight.   We should have his quote by the end of the week.  He did say his price would be cheaper if we decide to go forward with it in February rather than March.  Concrete can be poured in March and our wall project is small potatoes compared to a house addition (sniff, sniff).  He should have some time to put together a well thought out quote since there's supposedly a blizzard coming our way tonight!

Real Estate Update

Many, many real estate dreams have been dashed in the past two weeks.  First the renovation was taken off the list as an option.  Now we've met with a realtor - insert wah, wah, waaaaah.

Last Saturday we had one of the more prominent real estate agents in our area visit the house to gather more information.  She was immediately pleased with our front bay window as most in the neighborhood don't have this.  She loved the kitchen, although the hardwood floors could use a little TLC.  The good thing is that she recommended a hardwood deep cleaner that might keep us from having to refinish the floors.  The sun porch and finished basement were super traits of our house as well.  She also liked that our house was not cluttered.  The purging done during Christmas break pays off :)

Then she walked down to the bedrooms.  Our house was built as a three bedroom ranch, but sometime before we moved in the owner knocked down the wall between our two front bedrooms.  We've reaped the benefits of a large bedroom.  She started off by saying that the spaciousness of our bedroom was great, but then her smile immediately left her face.  "You know, I'd have to market this house as a two-bedroom house," she lamented.  We had a sneaky feeling that this would be the case.  After the tour of our house we sat at the table to talk comparables  and nitty-gritty numbers.

The comps in our neighborhood are right around what we paid for the house.  Some comps clearly need a little help to make the house a bit more modern - pink carpets and macrame plant holders scream "my owner is older than 65," while others are similar in style to ours.  Then the talk turned to what we price would sell this house.  The sad thing is that our two-bedroom house would have to list for approximately $40,000 less than if we had a three-bedroom house.  Yikes!  The Realtor said that we've got to think about what is best for our family, but we should seriously think about returning the house back to a three bedroom.  While the addition of a third bedroom will increase the amount we can sell our home, we won't really make any money on it.  This is is a problem because we need money to then buy a new house.

We also talked about the foreclosure market in our area.  Apparently there are many homes in the surrounding suburbs that go on the market in the Spring.  That does not bode well for our house value. 

Just like the renovation option, we have more information so we can make a smart decision.  The game plan for now is to talk to contractors for bids on putting the wall up.  We hope this is not a huge expense since we really need to get a return on our investment. 

Who knows maybe we'll be happy with three bedrooms.  After all this a move may not be in the cards.

More to come...

Cross one off the list

Since my last post the move or renovate debate has continued.  The holidays put a big slow down on the decision since we weren't going to spend the money then.  Now that the doldrums of winter are upon us, we're ready to get talking again.

Remember it took us 5 years to find a bedroom set we liked.  This is a house we're talking about, so I think we are moving at lighting speed.

Matt called the bank yesterday to talk about construction loans.  What steps are necessary in obtaining a construction loan?  He summarized that it was a chicken and egg situation.  You need specific architectural plans drawn up that the bank will use to create an appraisal of the final product.  That appraisal determines your loan amount.  The bank would give us 70% of the appraisal value.  That sounds all well and good, except that we still have a mortgage to subtract from the 70%.  The caveat becomes that we could spend the money with an architect to draw up the plans, but the bank might not give us the money we need to fulfill those plans.  That's a lot of money for a carrot on a stick that we'll never get.

Now that we know a renovation is off the table we are left with move option.  I suppose that's a good idea since we loathe our neighbors and don't need their grossness bringing down our home value.

Should we move within our current neighborhood?  That would keep M at her school and with her friends.

Should we move within our current city?  We love our community and have put down roots with the park district and library.

Should we move to another state?  We could find a house that is bigger than our current one for less money that might give me the opportunity to try my hand at the stay-at-home-mom gig.  Matt just needs airport proximity to do his job.

We are talking with a Realtor this weekend.  She will show us some area comparables to see what we could possibly get for our house.  We are also interested in what she says we should fix/improve upon before it's market ready.

One item ticked from the list three more to go.  Keep you posted!

Should We Stay Or Should We Go?

Our family is currently in a predicament; the four of us have outgrown our two-bedroom house.  Should we renovate the house we have or move to a bigger place?

Matt and I labor over our big decisions for a long time.  It took us a year to find our living room couch and even longer to find a bedroom set that had just the right design.  We met with an amazing architect team over the summer and became very inspired to design our dream house.  However, further reflection brought to light that a complete home renovation would uproot our family for the better part of half a year.  It seems that we seem set to renovate on week and flip-flop to move the next week.  When faced with such a quandary we have to make a pro/con list. 

What we love about our home
1.  The sun porch - It definitely does not get used as much as it should.  We especially love summer evenings with all the sliding doors open and cold winter mornings when sunlight bathes the room is amazing heat.  It feels surreal to eat breakfast out in the snow!

2.  The bay window -This is the best place for the kids to play once they could stand independently.  Cars and trucks roll effortlessly from one end to the other, a spot to wave hello and goodbye to family and friends, additional seating for entertaining, the spot for Santa's cookie plate.

3.  This is everyone's first house - This is the first house we bought together.  I vividly remember the day we saw and bought this house.  It was very scary and exciting all at the same time.  M & G also know no other house.  We brought them home from the hospital to this house, and I will be sad the day we leave knowing that so many memories were made here.  Holidays, parties, projects, togetherness, bring on the tissue the day we leave this place. 

4.  Our lot - Our house is situated on a curve so we benefit from being the second largest lot on our street.  This provides us with an obnoxious amount of space for a potential expansion.  We could practically build our house again in the backyard and still be within the village guidelines for renovation.   

5.  Location, location, location - We are in the perfect spot to catch the train into the city, walkable to our town's downtown, fast access to the expressway, M's school is in the neighborhood.  We have looked at other neighborhoods in our city, and, in our opinion, none compare with what we have.  There may be one neighborhood that comes close, but it's the one I work in and that's a conflict of interest. 

6.  The master bedroom - Our house was originally built as a three bedroom ranch.  Long ago someone decided to remove the wall between two of the bedrooms to make a large master.  Along with the sun porch, this helped to seal the deal on this house.  We have a four-piece bedroom set along with a dresser for G and other miscellaneous items.  I could not imagine being in a smaller bedroom. 

7.  The whole house fan - The most amazing solution, ever.  This keeps us cool in the summer when we're not quite ready to turn on the air.  It also saves our noses when dinner does not turn out so well and we need to evacuate the smell, fast.  I also have great memories of Matt up on the ladder laying the ugly orange sleeping bag over it for winter insulation.

8.  East/West exposure - No matter the time of year the sun greets us in the kitchen and dining room in the morning and says good night in the living room and master bedroom in the evening.

9.  Our yard - Matt has spent countless hours and dollars on making our yard beautiful.  I have to say that it's the best on the block.  So much thought and care has been put into what plants to buy and how to care for them.  We are also blessed that our house is flanked by two huge oak trees.  They block the sun at the height of the day allowing us to stay cool while others are boiling in their houses. 

10.  The noises - Our house has personality that can be seen, heard, and smelled.  The furnace makes a distinct "thud" when it turns off, the slotted cover on whole house fan has to shake violently before it pops open (I suppose some WD-40 would solve that, but it's been 10 years why change now?), the nails of the squirrels as the jump from the oak trees to the roof over our master bedroom, and the dry, chalky smell of the air conditioning the first few uses of the year.  Finally, the squeaks in the floor.  We have learned where to step in the kids' room so we can still check on them while not waking them.  The front door......  the outlets that pop....... the cracks in the garage.....

What we dislike about our home

1.  The neighbors - I won't go into detail, but they are prime candidates for many, many reality shows.  Super Nanny, for one - 'Nuff said.

What we would like out of a new home
1.  Closer location to downtown of our current city - At our current house we can walk to downtown, but it's a haul.  The kids could ride bikes, but I would guess they would not be making it back unless one of us forged ahead to get the car.  Our downtown has changed a lot, maybe not for the better, since we moved in but there is still a draw.  I'd love to walk to the summer concerts and take the kids to the fountain more often.

2.  Four bedrooms - the kids need their own space and Nana should not have to sleep on the Aero Bed when she comes to visit.

3.  An office for Matt - Now that he works from home a lot more it is important that he can "leave work" at the end of the day.

4.  A dedicated space for my stuff (or crap as Matt calls it) - Currently the dining room table and the counter are the first drop spot for my stuff.  Not too appealing for everyone else.

What we could get out of a new house and the potential pitfalls

1.  We could find a place closer to our downtown

2.  Houses closer to downtown in our price range will absolutely need renovation.

3.  We'd have to rent a house or apartment during the renovation (which we'd have to do for a house renovation)

4.  We could wait forever for a house on the market that is a good starting point for a renovation.

As I said we labor over decisions for a long time.  I have a feeling it's going to still be a while....Stay tuned!